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SPCM 1500 test 2 - Flashcards

Flashcard Deck Information

Class:SPCM 1500 - INTERPERSONAL COMM
Subject:Speech Communication
University:University of Georgia
Term:Fall 2011
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Expectancy Violations Theory Originally based on personal space- Intimate, personal, social, public
Core Concepts:
Expectancy
Violation Valence
Communicator Reward Valence
Expectancy Violations Theory: Expectancy An enduring pattern of expected behavior

Determined by: Context
                             Relationship
                             Characteristics of the Communicator

Prediction does no equal desired
Violation Valence Evaluation of the positive or negative value of the violation

Evaluation Process:
      What does this mean
      Do I like this violation or not

Ambiguous violations
Communicator Reward Valence Determining how a violator can affect one's life

Reward Valence
       Sum of the positive and negative attributes the person brings to the encounter
        Future potential
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Listening Definition Listening is the DYNAMIC transactional process of receiving, recalling, rating, and responding to stimuli, messages, or both

Listening is the process of receiving aural stimuli

Listening Elements 1. Listening is an aural activity
2. Listening includes:
         -Receiving- nonverbal/ verbal info; mindfulness and mindlessness
         -Recall- main points of the message
         -Rating- evaluating the message
         -Responding- During and after communication
3 Listening is different from hearing
4. Listening is diff from general perception- you can perceive w/o
5. Listening is different from memory
Barriers to Listening 1. Focusing on language and delivery
2. Prejudging a message as unintentional or unimportant
3. Thought and speech are different speeds
      - Listening Gap
      - 150 wpm vs 800 wpm
4. Filtering messages
      - for difficulty
      - for agreement/ disagreement
5. Rehearsing a response
      - counterarguing
Ways to Improve Listening 1. Listen actively (engaged giving response, taking notes)
2. Listen for different levels of meaning
         1. Relational
         2.  Content
3. Listen with empathy
4. Listen critically
5. Listen with an open mind
Generated by Koofers.com
Styles of Listening People Centered Listening
Action centered
Content Centered
Time Centered
PeopleCentered Listening A listening style associated with concern for other people's feelings or emotions
Action Centered Listening A listening style associated with listeners who want messages to be highly organized, concise, and error free
Content Centered Listening A listening style associated with listeners who focus on the facts and details of a message
Generated by Koofers.com
Time Centered Listening style A listening style associated with listeners who want messages to be presented succinctly
Culture and Listening Cultures cary in their value systems, yet listening remains a critical part of the various cultural communities.  Staying culturally aware of these values is important as you the consider the message of another person

1. DOn't expect them to adopt your culture
2. Accept new ways of receiving messages
3. Wait as long as possible before mergin the words of another into your own ( don't define the world in your terms)
4. Seek clarification when possible and needed
Emotions Defining Emotion Emotions are fundamental feeling states that orient us to what matters in our lives
Common characteristics whether felt by self or others-
  Subjective expereiences
  Valenced experience- only real neutral is surprise
  Physiological arousal- anything nonconcious
   Thought Interruption
   Behavioral expression- conscious things you do to express em.
   Adaptive Responses- things done in reaction (jumping up and down w/ an excited friend)

Dimensions of Emotion Valence
   - Positive/ Negative

Activity
    - passive (moves you to do nothing- sadness)/ active (moves you to act- anger, revenge)

Intensity
    - weak/ strong
Generated by Koofers.com
Display Rules Display rules are the management of feelings for the purpose of creating a public display

1. Simulation- not feeling it, pretending
2. Intensification- you do feel the emotion, but you amp it up
3. Miniaturization- turn the emotion down
4. Inhibition- no display, blank canvas on the outside... but you are feeling something
Facial Regions Three regions
   - brows and forehead
   - eyelids to bridge of nose
   - nose and mouth

Three kinds of facial cues
  -static- nose
  -slow- slow
  - rapid- eyes
Theoretical Frameworks for Emotion The Biological Theory- Emotions are based on biology and instinct and should be felt the same way by people across different cultures. Emotion exists separately from thought and we need thought only to bring a preexisting emotion to our conscious.  Darwin cited gestures.

The Social Interaction Theory- Biological + Social Factors (interactions with Others) ... focuses on reactions of others to gestures, 
Emotion and Communication Emotion is communicate verbally, nonverbally, and in a combination
Generated by Koofers.com
Influences on Emotional Communication Meta-emotion- emotion about an emotion
Culture-how a culture looks at emotion and communicates about emotion
Gender and Sex- emotiona nd gender stereotypes, emotional expression and sex and gender
Context- Historical Period, online communication

Developing Emotional Competence Know your feelings
      -Recognizing your emotion
      - Establishing that you are stating an emotion
      - Creating a statement that id's why you are feeling the emotion
Analyze the Situation
     1. Do you wish to share your emotion
      2. Is the time appropriate for sharing
      3. How should you approach the communication
      4. Is there anything you can do to change the situation if needed
Own Your Feelings- Owning, I- message
Reframe when Needed
Empathy

Appraisal Theory Emotional reactions are situational
     -coffe shopv libraryy
     - you get into school but a friend doesn't
Emotional reactions vary from person to person
Emotional reaction process:
     Appraisal of the situation
    Experience of the emotion
     Behavior/ Action
Appraisal of the Situation Appraisal- an individual's assessment of a particualr situation
                   - a person's appraisal is their reality
Common Appraisal
     -Attribution- is this my fault?
     - Attention- do I pay attention to this or not?
     - Pleasantness- Is this pleasant?
     - Predictability- Is this what I thought would happen?
     - Obstacle- Is this getting in my way?
Generated by Koofers.com
Behavior/ Action For every particular emotion there is a typical action or response
    Anger- Subdue the offender
    Guilt- Want to achieve personal moral standards
                    -Prove to yourself and others that you are a good person
     Fear- The want to avoid the uncertain
  
Why do we emote/ behave differently?
     Individual differences
           Optimist/ Pessimist, Man/ Woman, Extrovert/Introvert
Theory of Emotional Competence The demonstration of self- efficacy
     -self-efficacy: Belief that you as an individual is capable of performing or acting in a certain way to reach a particular goal

Four Principles
   1. Requires Emotional Awareness
   2. Requires Emotion Perspective Taking
   3. Requires Cultural Sensitivity
   4. Requires strategic expression
Requires Emotional Awareness Identifying, labeling, and articualting one's own emotions

Decoding the emotional expressions of others

Understanding people can experience more than one emotion at a given time
Requires Emotional Perspective Taking Walking in someone's mocassins

Empathy
    - Both recognize and understand what a person is feeling

Empathic Accuracy
    - sometimes being inaccurate serves as a protective function
Generated by Koofers.com
Requires Strategic Expression Emotional Regulation
     Delayed gratification- waiting until the appropriate time and place to express emotion
Five Predictors of Affiliation Propinquity
Attitude Similarity
Physical Attractiveness
Need Complentarity
Familiarity
Propinquity - Physical Proxemity (which apartments are more likely to be affiliates of one another)


Examples
-Organizational Romance- 1/3 experience, 1/3 heard of, 1/3 nope
- Long Distance Relationships- 4 million, 25-40% of college students
Attitude Similarity The survey experiment

Homogeny vs heterogamy
-Propinquity was a strong initial predictor
- Similarity was stronger over time
Generated by Koofers.com
Physical Attractiveness Maximizing or Matching?

Who matches?
   -All but female female friend dyads

Who cares?
   Across- males place greater importance on physical attractiveness that females
Need Complimentarity Opposites attract
seems to occur on two qualities
       -sexual preference for heterosexuals
       - Dominance and submissiveness
Familiarity Humans tend toward familiarity
1. mere exposure- Getting what you know you like, based on previous experience (always going for the bad boy or the nerdy guy)

2. Saturation Point
     -too much!  No more of this!
Hearing The physical process of letting in audible stimuli without focusing on the stimuli
Generated by Koofers.com
Working Memory Theory A theory stating that we can pay attention to several stimuli and simultaneously store stimuli for future reference
Listening the dynamic transactional process of receiving, recalling, rating, and responding to stimuli,messages, or both
Four "Rs" of listening The four components of the listening process: receiving, responding, recalling, and rating
Receiving The verbal adn nonverbal acknowledgement of a message
Generated by Koofers.com
Mindless Being unaware of the stimuli around us
Responding Providing observable feedback to a sender's message
Recalling Understanding a message, storing it for future encounters, and remembering it later
Chunking Placing pieces of info into manageable and retrievable sets
Generated by Koofers.com
Rating Evaluationg and assessing a message
Opinion A view, judgement, or appraisal based on our beliefs or values
American Sign Language ASL A visual rather than auditory form of communication that is composed of precise hand shapes and movements
Message Overload The result when senders receive more message than they can process
Generated by Koofers.com
Multitasking The simultaneous performance of two or more tasks
Conversational Narcissism Engaging in an extreme amount of self-focusing during a conversation to the exclusion of another person
Listnening Gap The time difference between our mental ability to interpret words and the speed at which they arrive at our brain
Selective Listening Responding to some parts of a message and rejecting others
Generated by Koofers.com
Talkaholic A compulsive talker who hogs the conversational stage and monopolizes encounters
Pseudolisten To pretend to listen by nodding our heads, looking at the speaker, smiling at the appropriate times, or practicing other kinds of attention feigning
Gap Fillers Listeners who think that they can correctly guess the rest of the story a speaker is telling and don't need the speaker to continue
Defensive Listening Viewing innocent comments as personal attacks or hostile criticisms
Generated by Koofers.com
Ambushing Listening carefully to a message then using the information later to attack the sender
Listening Style A predominant and preferred approach to listening to the messages we hear
People Centered Listening Style A listening style associated with concern for other people's feelings
Action centered Listening Style A listening style associated with listeners who want messages to be highly organized, concise, and error free
Generated by Koofers.com
Second Guess To question the assumptions of the underlying message
Content Centered Listening Style A listening style associated with listeners who focus on the facts and details of the message
Time Centered Listening Style Listening Style associated with listeners who want message to be delivered succinctly
Empathy The process of identifying with or attempting to experience the thoughts, beliefs, and actions of another
Generated by Koofers.com
Nonjudgmental Feedback Feedback that describes another's behavior behavior and then explains how that behavior made us feel
Paraphrasing Restating the essence of a sender's message in our own words
Dialogue Enhancers Supporting statements, such as "I see" or "I'm listening" that indicate we are involved ina message
Dualism A way of thinking that constructs polar opposite categories to encompass the totality of a thing.  Dualism prompts us to think about things in an "either-or" fashion
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Emotional Contagion The process of transferring emotions from one person to another
Emotional Experience The feeling of emotion
Emotional Communication Talking about emotion
Communicating Emotionally COmmunicating such that the emotion is not the content of the message but rather a property of it
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Emotional Effects The ways in which an emotional experience impact communication behavior
Meta-emotion Emotion felt about experiencing another emotion
Feeling rules The cultural norms used to create and react to emotional expressions
Owning Verbally taking responsibility for own thoughts and feelings
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I- message A message phrased to show we understand that our feelings belong to us and aren't caused by someone else
Reframe To change something that has a negative connotation to something with a more positive connotation
Basic Information About INtimate Relationships Essential to well-being 
Max of seven at one time
Require Maintenance
Most Disclosive/ Highly Communicative
Stage Theory Knapp and Vangelisti
 
Liearity- you must hit each stage to move on to the next
Mutual Exclusivity- You can't be in more than one stage at the same time
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Three Group Model Escalation
Commitment
De-Escalation
Two Group Model Coming Together
- Initiating, Experimenting, Intensifying, Integrating, Bonding

Coming Apart
- Differentiating, Circumscribing, Stagnating, Avoiding, Terminating
Initiating Am I attracted to this person?
Should I talk to this person?
Positive image- You want to put yours forth and expect them to do the same
Uncomfortable/ problems= ABORT
Experimenting
Search for Commonality
      -Question asking stage
     - small talk
Very judgmental
Do I want to continue?
Generated by Koofers.com
Intensifying Stage Increasing self-disclosure
Less formal forms of address
Use of "we" begins
Verbal shortcuts (inside jokes, jargon)
Integrating (Coupling) stage Couple becomes one entity
Adopt each other's mannerisms and speech patterns
Exchange symbols of ownership
May acquire shared property

Bonding Most intense stage of coming together
Public Commitment
    -Ritual
Differentiating Highlight Differences
Seek Individuality
Couples can still come back from this
Generated by Koofers.com
Circumscribing Limitation is key
     -Quality 
     -Quantity
Conversation sticks to safe topices
Appears "normal" to outsiders
Uncomfortable form of self-protection
You can still come back from this stage but it takes a lot of maintenance
Stagnating Individuals appear to be strangers
Limit interactions to need to know basis
No need to talk/  already know what the other will say based on rehearsed conversations in head
People feel stuck
At this point people are pretty much doomed

Avoiding Individuals avoid face to face interaction
Often communicate via third party
May rely on mediated communication
Terminating Sever all ties (as much as possible)
Must occur face to face if the parties are to receive closure
       -Nice
      -Nasty
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Role Relationship A relationship in which partners are interdependent while trying to accomplish a specific task... Waitress and diner
Close Relationship A relationship that endures over time and consisits of interdependent partners who satisfy each other's needs for connection and social inclusion, feel and emotional attachment to one another, are irreplaceable to each other, and enact unique communication patterns
Relational Culture The notion that relational partners collaborate and experience shared understandings, roles, and rituals that are unique to their understanding
wholeness an attitude that we can't understand a system by simply picking it apart and understanding each of its parts in isolation of each other.
Generated by Koofers.com
hierarchy a principle stating that all relationships are embedded  within larger systems
subsystems lower-level systems of relationship, like siblings in a family
suprasystems higher-level systems of relationship, like neighborhoods consisting of several families
boundaries or openness a systems principle referring to the facet that hierarchy is formed by constructing boundaries around each separate system.  Human systems are inherently open which means that info passes through these boundaries.  Therefore some researchers call this principle "boundaries" and some call it "openness"
Generated by Koofers.com
calibration The process of systems setting their parameters, checking on themselves, and self-correcting
recalibrate To adjust a relationship to accommodate changing needs of the parties
Positive Feedback Feedback that causes a system to recalibrate and change
Negative Feedback Feedback that causes a system to reject recalibration and stay the same
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Equifinality The ability to achieve the same goals or ends by a variety of means
Autonomy and Connection Dialectic The tension between our desire to be independent or autonomous while simultaneously wanting to feel a connection with our partner
Novelty and predictability dialectic Our simultaneous  opposing desires for excitement and stability in our relationships
Judgment and Acceptance Dialectic Our desire to criticize a friend as opposed to accepting a friend for who he or she is
Generated by Koofers.com
Affection and Instrumentality Dialectic The tension between framing a friendship with someone as an end in itself (affection) or seeing it as a emans to another end (instrumentality)
Internal Dialectics Tensions resulting from oppositions inherent in relational partners; communication with each other
External Dialectics Tensions between oppositions that have to do with how relational partners negotiate the public aspects of their relationship.
Public and Private Dialectic The tension between how much of a friendship is demonstrated in public and what parts are kept private
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Ideal and real dialectic The tension between an idealized vision of friendship and the real friends one has
Costs Those things in relational life that we judge as negative
Rewards Those parts of being in a relationship that we find pleasurable
Comparison Level A person's standard level for what types of costs and rewards should exist in a given relationship
Generated by Koofers.com
Comparison Level for Alternatives A comparison of the costsand rewards of a current relationship to the possibility of doing better in a different relationship
Relative Power Position A situation in whicha  partner in a relationship believes that he or she has a higher power status than the other partner and so will engage in risky strategies without fearing the costs
Short- term attraction A judgment of a relationship that propels us into initiating a relationship
Long-term attraction Judgment of a relationship that makes us want to continue a relationship after initiating it.  This attraction sustains and maintains relationships
Generated by Koofers.com
Imagined conversation A conversation with oneself in which one partner plays the parts of both partners in a mental rehearsal
Networking In relational development, finding our information about a person from a third party
Offering Putting ourselves in a good position for another to approach us in a social situation
Approaching Providing nonverbal signals that indicate we'd like to initiate contact with another person, such as going up to a person or smiling in that person's direction
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Sustaining Behaving in a way that keeps an initial conversation going, such as asking questions
Affinity Seeking
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List View: Terms & Definitions

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 Expectancy Violations TheoryOriginally based on personal space- Intimate, personal, social, public
Core Concepts:
Expectancy
Violation Valence
Communicator Reward Valence
 Expectancy Violations Theory: ExpectancyAn enduring pattern of expected behavior

Determined by: Context
                             Relationship
                             Characteristics of the Communicator

Prediction does no equal desired
 Violation ValenceEvaluation of the positive or negative value of the violation

Evaluation Process:
      What does this mean
      Do I like this violation or not

Ambiguous violations
 Communicator Reward ValenceDetermining how a violator can affect one's life

Reward Valence
       Sum of the positive and negative attributes the person brings to the encounter
        Future potential
 Listening DefinitionListening is the DYNAMIC transactional process of receiving, recalling, rating, and responding to stimuli, messages, or both

Listening is the process of receiving aural stimuli

 Listening Elements1. Listening is an aural activity
2. Listening includes:
         -Receiving- nonverbal/ verbal info; mindfulness and mindlessness
         -Recall- main points of the message
         -Rating- evaluating the message
         -Responding- During and after communication
3 Listening is different from hearing
4. Listening is diff from general perception- you can perceive w/o
5. Listening is different from memory
 Barriers to Listening1. Focusing on language and delivery
2. Prejudging a message as unintentional or unimportant
3. Thought and speech are different speeds
      - Listening Gap
      - 150 wpm vs 800 wpm
4. Filtering messages
      - for difficulty
      - for agreement/ disagreement
5. Rehearsing a response
      - counterarguing
 Ways to Improve Listening1. Listen actively (engaged giving response, taking notes)
2. Listen for different levels of meaning
         1. Relational
         2.  Content
3. Listen with empathy
4. Listen critically
5. Listen with an open mind
 Styles of ListeningPeople Centered Listening
Action centered
Content Centered
Time Centered
 PeopleCentered ListeningA listening style associated with concern for other people's feelings or emotions
 Action Centered ListeningA listening style associated with listeners who want messages to be highly organized, concise, and error free
 Content Centered ListeningA listening style associated with listeners who focus on the facts and details of a message
 Time Centered Listening styleA listening style associated with listeners who want messages to be presented succinctly
 Culture and ListeningCultures cary in their value systems, yet listening remains a critical part of the various cultural communities.  Staying culturally aware of these values is important as you the consider the message of another person

1. DOn't expect them to adopt your culture
2. Accept new ways of receiving messages
3. Wait as long as possible before mergin the words of another into your own ( don't define the world in your terms)
4. Seek clarification when possible and needed
 Emotions Defining EmotionEmotions are fundamental feeling states that orient us to what matters in our lives
Common characteristics whether felt by self or others-
  Subjective expereiences
  Valenced experience- only real neutral is surprise
  Physiological arousal- anything nonconcious
   Thought Interruption
   Behavioral expression- conscious things you do to express em.
   Adaptive Responses- things done in reaction (jumping up and down w/ an excited friend)

 Dimensions of EmotionValence
   - Positive/ Negative

Activity
    - passive (moves you to do nothing- sadness)/ active (moves you to act- anger, revenge)

Intensity
    - weak/ strong
 Display RulesDisplay rules are the management of feelings for the purpose of creating a public display

1. Simulation- not feeling it, pretending
2. Intensification- you do feel the emotion, but you amp it up
3. Miniaturization- turn the emotion down
4. Inhibition- no display, blank canvas on the outside... but you are feeling something
 Facial RegionsThree regions
   - brows and forehead
   - eyelids to bridge of nose
   - nose and mouth

Three kinds of facial cues
  -static- nose
  -slow- slow
  - rapid- eyes
 Theoretical Frameworks for EmotionThe Biological Theory- Emotions are based on biology and instinct and should be felt the same way by people across different cultures. Emotion exists separately from thought and we need thought only to bring a preexisting emotion to our conscious.  Darwin cited gestures.

The Social Interaction Theory- Biological + Social Factors (interactions with Others) ... focuses on reactions of others to gestures, 
 Emotion and CommunicationEmotion is communicate verbally, nonverbally, and in a combination
 Influences on Emotional CommunicationMeta-emotion- emotion about an emotion
Culture-how a culture looks at emotion and communicates about emotion
Gender and Sex- emotiona nd gender stereotypes, emotional expression and sex and gender
Context- Historical Period, online communication

 Developing Emotional CompetenceKnow your feelings
      -Recognizing your emotion
      - Establishing that you are stating an emotion
      - Creating a statement that id's why you are feeling the emotion
Analyze the Situation
     1. Do you wish to share your emotion
      2. Is the time appropriate for sharing
      3. How should you approach the communication
      4. Is there anything you can do to change the situation if needed
Own Your Feelings- Owning, I- message
Reframe when Needed
Empathy

 Appraisal TheoryEmotional reactions are situational
     -coffe shopv libraryy
     - you get into school but a friend doesn't
Emotional reactions vary from person to person
Emotional reaction process:
     Appraisal of the situation
    Experience of the emotion
     Behavior/ Action
 Appraisal of the SituationAppraisal- an individual's assessment of a particualr situation
                   - a person's appraisal is their reality
Common Appraisal
     -Attribution- is this my fault?
     - Attention- do I pay attention to this or not?
     - Pleasantness- Is this pleasant?
     - Predictability- Is this what I thought would happen?
     - Obstacle- Is this getting in my way?
 Behavior/ ActionFor every particular emotion there is a typical action or response
    Anger- Subdue the offender
    Guilt- Want to achieve personal moral standards
                    -Prove to yourself and others that you are a good person
     Fear- The want to avoid the uncertain
  
Why do we emote/ behave differently?
     Individual differences
           Optimist/ Pessimist, Man/ Woman, Extrovert/Introvert
 Theory of Emotional CompetenceThe demonstration of self- efficacy
     -self-efficacy: Belief that you as an individual is capable of performing or acting in a certain way to reach a particular goal

Four Principles
   1. Requires Emotional Awareness
   2. Requires Emotion Perspective Taking
   3. Requires Cultural Sensitivity
   4. Requires strategic expression
 Requires Emotional AwarenessIdentifying, labeling, and articualting one's own emotions

Decoding the emotional expressions of others

Understanding people can experience more than one emotion at a given time
 Requires Emotional Perspective TakingWalking in someone's mocassins

Empathy
    - Both recognize and understand what a person is feeling

Empathic Accuracy
    - sometimes being inaccurate serves as a protective function
 Requires Strategic ExpressionEmotional Regulation
     Delayed gratification- waiting until the appropriate time and place to express emotion
 Five Predictors of AffiliationPropinquity
Attitude Similarity
Physical Attractiveness
Need Complentarity
Familiarity
 Propinquity- Physical Proxemity (which apartments are more likely to be affiliates of one another)


Examples
-Organizational Romance- 1/3 experience, 1/3 heard of, 1/3 nope
- Long Distance Relationships- 4 million, 25-40% of college students
 Attitude SimilarityThe survey experiment

Homogeny vs heterogamy
-Propinquity was a strong initial predictor
- Similarity was stronger over time
 Physical AttractivenessMaximizing or Matching?

Who matches?
   -All but female female friend dyads

Who cares?
   Across- males place greater importance on physical attractiveness that females
 Need ComplimentarityOpposites attract
seems to occur on two qualities
       -sexual preference for heterosexuals
       - Dominance and submissiveness
 FamiliarityHumans tend toward familiarity
1. mere exposure- Getting what you know you like, based on previous experience (always going for the bad boy or the nerdy guy)

2. Saturation Point
     -too much!  No more of this!
 HearingThe physical process of letting in audible stimuli without focusing on the stimuli
 Working Memory TheoryA theory stating that we can pay attention to several stimuli and simultaneously store stimuli for future reference
 Listeningthe dynamic transactional process of receiving, recalling, rating, and responding to stimuli,messages, or both
 Four "Rs" of listeningThe four components of the listening process: receiving, responding, recalling, and rating
 ReceivingThe verbal adn nonverbal acknowledgement of a message
 MindlessBeing unaware of the stimuli around us
 RespondingProviding observable feedback to a sender's message
 RecallingUnderstanding a message, storing it for future encounters, and remembering it later
 ChunkingPlacing pieces of info into manageable and retrievable sets
 RatingEvaluationg and assessing a message
 OpinionA view, judgement, or appraisal based on our beliefs or values
 American Sign Language ASLA visual rather than auditory form of communication that is composed of precise hand shapes and movements
 Message OverloadThe result when senders receive more message than they can process
 MultitaskingThe simultaneous performance of two or more tasks
 Conversational NarcissismEngaging in an extreme amount of self-focusing during a conversation to the exclusion of another person
 Listnening GapThe time difference between our mental ability to interpret words and the speed at which they arrive at our brain
 Selective ListeningResponding to some parts of a message and rejecting others
 TalkaholicA compulsive talker who hogs the conversational stage and monopolizes encounters
 PseudolistenTo pretend to listen by nodding our heads, looking at the speaker, smiling at the appropriate times, or practicing other kinds of attention feigning
 Gap FillersListeners who think that they can correctly guess the rest of the story a speaker is telling and don't need the speaker to continue
 Defensive ListeningViewing innocent comments as personal attacks or hostile criticisms
 AmbushingListening carefully to a message then using the information later to attack the sender
 Listening StyleA predominant and preferred approach to listening to the messages we hear
 People Centered Listening StyleA listening style associated with concern for other people's feelings
 Action centered Listening StyleA listening style associated with listeners who want messages to be highly organized, concise, and error free
 Second GuessTo question the assumptions of the underlying message
 Content Centered Listening StyleA listening style associated with listeners who focus on the facts and details of the message
 Time Centered Listening StyleListening Style associated with listeners who want message to be delivered succinctly
 EmpathyThe process of identifying with or attempting to experience the thoughts, beliefs, and actions of another
 Nonjudgmental FeedbackFeedback that describes another's behavior behavior and then explains how that behavior made us feel
 ParaphrasingRestating the essence of a sender's message in our own words
 Dialogue EnhancersSupporting statements, such as "I see" or "I'm listening" that indicate we are involved ina message
 DualismA way of thinking that constructs polar opposite categories to encompass the totality of a thing.  Dualism prompts us to think about things in an "either-or" fashion
 Emotional ContagionThe process of transferring emotions from one person to another
 Emotional ExperienceThe feeling of emotion
 Emotional CommunicationTalking about emotion
 Communicating EmotionallyCOmmunicating such that the emotion is not the content of the message but rather a property of it
 Emotional EffectsThe ways in which an emotional experience impact communication behavior
 Meta-emotionEmotion felt about experiencing another emotion
 Feeling rulesThe cultural norms used to create and react to emotional expressions
 OwningVerbally taking responsibility for own thoughts and feelings
 I- messageA message phrased to show we understand that our feelings belong to us and aren't caused by someone else
 ReframeTo change something that has a negative connotation to something with a more positive connotation
 Basic Information About INtimate RelationshipsEssential to well-being 
Max of seven at one time
Require Maintenance
Most Disclosive/ Highly Communicative
 Stage TheoryKnapp and Vangelisti
 
Liearity- you must hit each stage to move on to the next
Mutual Exclusivity- You can't be in more than one stage at the same time
 Three Group ModelEscalation
Commitment
De-Escalation
 Two Group ModelComing Together
- Initiating, Experimenting, Intensifying, Integrating, Bonding

Coming Apart
- Differentiating, Circumscribing, Stagnating, Avoiding, Terminating
 InitiatingAm I attracted to this person?
Should I talk to this person?
Positive image- You want to put yours forth and expect them to do the same
Uncomfortable/ problems= ABORT
 Experimenting
Search for Commonality
      -Question asking stage
     - small talk
Very judgmental
Do I want to continue?
 Intensifying StageIncreasing self-disclosure
Less formal forms of address
Use of "we" begins
Verbal shortcuts (inside jokes, jargon)
 Integrating (Coupling) stageCouple becomes one entity
Adopt each other's mannerisms and speech patterns
Exchange symbols of ownership
May acquire shared property

 BondingMost intense stage of coming together
Public Commitment
    -Ritual
 DifferentiatingHighlight Differences
Seek Individuality
Couples can still come back from this
 CircumscribingLimitation is key
     -Quality 
     -Quantity
Conversation sticks to safe topices
Appears "normal" to outsiders
Uncomfortable form of self-protection
You can still come back from this stage but it takes a lot of maintenance
 StagnatingIndividuals appear to be strangers
Limit interactions to need to know basis
No need to talk/  already know what the other will say based on rehearsed conversations in head
People feel stuck
At this point people are pretty much doomed

 AvoidingIndividuals avoid face to face interaction
Often communicate via third party
May rely on mediated communication
 TerminatingSever all ties (as much as possible)
Must occur face to face if the parties are to receive closure
       -Nice
      -Nasty
 Role RelationshipA relationship in which partners are interdependent while trying to accomplish a specific task... Waitress and diner
 Close RelationshipA relationship that endures over time and consisits of interdependent partners who satisfy each other's needs for connection and social inclusion, feel and emotional attachment to one another, are irreplaceable to each other, and enact unique communication patterns
 Relational CultureThe notion that relational partners collaborate and experience shared understandings, roles, and rituals that are unique to their understanding
 wholenessan attitude that we can't understand a system by simply picking it apart and understanding each of its parts in isolation of each other.
 hierarchya principle stating that all relationships are embedded  within larger systems
 subsystemslower-level systems of relationship, like siblings in a family
 suprasystemshigher-level systems of relationship, like neighborhoods consisting of several families
 boundaries or opennessa systems principle referring to the facet that hierarchy is formed by constructing boundaries around each separate system.  Human systems are inherently open which means that info passes through these boundaries.  Therefore some researchers call this principle "boundaries" and some call it "openness"
 calibrationThe process of systems setting their parameters, checking on themselves, and self-correcting
 recalibrateTo adjust a relationship to accommodate changing needs of the parties
 Positive FeedbackFeedback that causes a system to recalibrate and change
 Negative FeedbackFeedback that causes a system to reject recalibration and stay the same
 EquifinalityThe ability to achieve the same goals or ends by a variety of means
 Autonomy and Connection DialecticThe tension between our desire to be independent or autonomous while simultaneously wanting to feel a connection with our partner
 Novelty and predictability dialecticOur simultaneous  opposing desires for excitement and stability in our relationships
 Judgment and Acceptance DialecticOur desire to criticize a friend as opposed to accepting a friend for who he or she is
 Affection and Instrumentality DialecticThe tension between framing a friendship with someone as an end in itself (affection) or seeing it as a emans to another end (instrumentality)
 Internal DialecticsTensions resulting from oppositions inherent in relational partners; communication with each other
 External DialecticsTensions between oppositions that have to do with how relational partners negotiate the public aspects of their relationship.
 Public and Private DialecticThe tension between how much of a friendship is demonstrated in public and what parts are kept private
 Ideal and real dialecticThe tension between an idealized vision of friendship and the real friends one has
 CostsThose things in relational life that we judge as negative
 RewardsThose parts of being in a relationship that we find pleasurable
 Comparison LevelA person's standard level for what types of costs and rewards should exist in a given relationship
 Comparison Level for AlternativesA comparison of the costsand rewards of a current relationship to the possibility of doing better in a different relationship
 Relative Power PositionA situation in whicha  partner in a relationship believes that he or she has a higher power status than the other partner and so will engage in risky strategies without fearing the costs
 Short- term attractionA judgment of a relationship that propels us into initiating a relationship
 Long-term attractionJudgment of a relationship that makes us want to continue a relationship after initiating it.  This attraction sustains and maintains relationships
 Imagined conversationA conversation with oneself in which one partner plays the parts of both partners in a mental rehearsal
 NetworkingIn relational development, finding our information about a person from a third party
 OfferingPutting ourselves in a good position for another to approach us in a social situation
 ApproachingProviding nonverbal signals that indicate we'd like to initiate contact with another person, such as going up to a person or smiling in that person's direction
 SustainingBehaving in a way that keeps an initial conversation going, such as asking questions
 Affinity Seeking 
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